Wesley's Story

As this Holiday season speeds up on us so fast, I want you to sit back and read my story about our last few weeks with Wesley. This whole experience has made me look at things differently and really has changed who I am.

On Ocotber 24th, me and Wes were hanging out while Grady was taking a nap. The big kids were with Tony and Charlie was out. I was making homemade formula and baby food (no I am not supermom, none of the other 4 ever got that!!) and Wesley was sitting on the kitchen island in a Bumbo seat. I was talking to him and he was laughing and got excited and threw his arms in the air, arched back and kicked his feet out and over he went onto the tile floor landing on his head. I was shocked, I thought to myself, “this didn’t just happen”. It was probably the most surreal moment of my life. As I looked over the counter he lay motionless and whimpered staring up at me. He was still sitting in the seat. I thought for a moment maybe the seat hit first and he was ok. But after getting down and picking him up, I saw a flat spot on the side of the back of his head and swelling causing a huge bump. I panicked and took him into the living room. He had turned white and his lips were blue and he went limp. He wasn’t making much of a fuss considering what had just happened. His breathing got shallow and he cried faintly on and off. As a mother there are certain times when you know this is the real thing and I called 911. I was shaking and almost hyperventilating. It seemed like forever until someone answered and even longer for her to get my information. All I could think and said numerous times was “is someone coming, he’s not breathing right”. She tried to calm me down and told me to lay him on the floor and get him to cry, he would for a few seconds and then seem to drift off and was quiet again. All I could think of was that there was blood in his brain and he was going to die. It was horrible. What seemed hours was only minutes until the paramedics came, they were great. Calm, methodical and reassuring. They checked him out and put him on a baby backboard, taping his head down to keep it still. I went and got Grady up from his nap and he just sat and stared at all the commotion. There was no urgency at that time, they thought he was doing ok and brought him to the ambulance. We all got in and away we were going to St. Paul Childrens to check him out. They were driving the speed limit with no lights on and everything seemed to be good. About 2 minutes into the ride they realized he was not responding again and would not open his eyes or cry. The driver increased the speed and the sirens went on. Now it was an emergency. They decided to give him oxygen and had me hold the little mouthpiece over his whole face. This was again, as a mother when I knew something was not right. They forced his eyes open and they were fixed up and to the right and they thought he may be having a seizure. (This is a complication of a serious head injury). They rubbed his chest and pricked the bottom of his feet to get him to cry in order for him to breathe. They also made the call to divert us to Regions Trauma Center instead because of the change in his condition. This is when I felt the battle ensue for my child. There was a very dark presence that could be felt and I sensed my child being taken from me and leaving this world. Wesley was dying and there was nothing I could do to help him EXCEPT pray. I can tell you honestly I have never prayed like that in my life. Something just came over me and I prayed out loud over Wes. I prayed to bind any and all evil spirits, the spirit of death and injury and to cast them out of the ambulance. I prayed that all of his angels surround him and protect him and that Jesus place a hedge of protection over him and all of us. I prayed for the doctors that were going to be seeing him and waiting for us to arrive. It really occurred to me that I may not be taking my son home today. Every parent knows that something can happen at any time, but you just forget and go on with your daily life. This time I was at a complete loss of any control over the situation and had to put the life of my son into God’s hands. I knew there was nothing else I could do and had to accept that. It was a feeling of total surrender and faith and I was the observer in this situation. I had thoughts of how my life would be different if he didn’t come home, how unfair that may be if he was only with us for 6 months and how I would go on day to day knowing that he fell right within my reach and under my supervision. What would Charlie say? Was he going to be mad at me? He didn’t even know this was all happening. I had to call him from the ambulance and leave him a message. Imagine getting a frantic call about your child with sirens blaring in the background. Another time warp, what seemed to be forever was just minutes and we arrived to the back door of the ER. Upon entering there were about 20 people waiting for him all in yellow gowns and face masks there to help Wes. They had it all under control and once again were calm and calculated in all they did. Within 10 minutes they had cut his clothes off, assessed him and had him in a CT scan. They even took care of little Grady and gave him a childs chair, juice box and a snack. They kept me informed and reassured they were doing all they could to help my baby. They watched Grady while me and Wes went in for the scan. I remember him being taped to the board, in basically a straight jacket and then they taped a pacifier in his mouth. They immediately told me there was no blood in the brain and that he was going to be ok. (He did have bleeding later). I can not tell you the feeling of hearing those words. By no means was he out of the woods, but I had some reassurance that he was going to live. Through this whole ordeal oddly enough I did not shed a tear. The emotions were too high I guess. When we went back to the room, Charlie had gotten there and all I could do was apologize. I felt like I had wronged him so bad by letting this happen. He was so forgiving and was concerned about me and Wes before himself. I don’t know if I would have been so forgiving if it were the other way around. After awhile several doctors came in to tell us what was going on and that Wesley had 2 fractures in his occiput, the back of his skull. They were underneath the base of the skull, one was displaced. Being a chiropractor I know the seriousness of that kind of an injury and it makes sense why his breathing and vision were so affected. It was fractured very close to the brain stem and the top vertebra. There was trauma to these vessels and nerves that control these functions. He stayed in the pediatric intensive care until the following night for observation and to make sure there were no complications. When they finally took him off the board, there was a bruise and swelling on the back of his head like a donut- it was huge and purple from all the blood. I nursed him and they gave him some pain medication and when I looked into his eyes he saw me and smiled. Can you believe it, after all he was going through all he wanted was his mom! We stayed overnight and he was the hit with all of the nurses, back to himself batting his long eyelashes and flirting with them all. When they checked him the swelling and bruise had disappeared! He was setting off alarms because he was pulling off the cords, not because he was having problems. I continued to pray for him throughout the night.

It was about this time that I finally broke down and cried. For so many reasons, mostly out of gratefulness that he was going to be ok. The feelings that I felt in that evening were some I have never felt before and hope not to again. I wanted to share this with you in particular because I want it to be a testimony of what God can and is still doing today. I am convinced that I witnessed a miracle. I was there, I know what was happening and I saw my baby being pulled away from me. I fought for him with the only thing I knew how to do and that is the power of prayer. Everyone has that available to them, for any situation. I was shown that God is bigger than my problems, he cares more than I can fathom and he is as real today as he was way back when. There are angels here with us to protect us and spirits that want to destroy, steal our joy and do us harm. Unfortunately they don’t show up in little red suit with horns, but they are powerful and want to take from us all God has provided. I realize children are not ours to keep forever and that was so hard for me to see in the hospital. There were so many children who had disabilities- many of which were never going to leave that hospital. Those families go through things that none of us can even imagine, I did it for one day and was exhausted. Why God chose to spare my child of this, I don’t know. I do know however that what is meant to harm us He will take and turn around and make it good. That he has for me. I know there are special plans for Wesley in the course of his life. There is a calling on his life to do great things, he already has- he has changed his moms life in so many ways. I have realized that God is real and always with me and in charge of my circumstances. He is a healer, provider and stronger than anything I can come up against. This Christmas season I have thought of what it really means, God gave his son, knowing he would die for all of us so that we could live an abundant life. I couldn’t even accept that fact for an hour knowing my son might die. He showed me forgiveness through Charlie when I most needed it. Why don’t I forgive some people I am angry with and let it all go- why don’t you? When I think life is unfair and am feeling sorry for my circumstances, I am reminded of this and what could have been. I have a child. I get to tuck him in at night, I get to tuck all 5 in at night. No longer is it a chore to walk upstairs 17 times for every excuse to care for the kids, but it is my privilege. Many things now roll off my back, I don’t care about the little stuff that used to get me. I am grateful. My life is crazy busy but I have perspective on what is important now. If my house isn’t clean- oh well. If I am not organized at work- oh well. If I can’t pay a bill- oh well. It will all work out in the end. Most of all I don’t need to stress out and worry, creating anxiety for myself and harming my body even more. All these years of hearing bible verses, going to church and listening to wise people- it did sink in somewhere in my mind (thanks mom!). I just never have put it to use like this before. I have felt the power of God in my life and I know he is real for me and you. I needed to share this with you. Through all this I kept thinking this and speak this over my family:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Wesley has had several CT scans and he his healing up great, they say he will not have any residuals from this. He continues to develop; with sitting, grasping and talking- all of which are good signs that there will not be any long term brain damage. He is bright eyed again and loving life! Slightly spoiled now I would say!

Please pass this along to anyone struggling or feeling lonely. It is posted at htceagan.com also under Wesley’s Story. Take some time to sit and think about what this Christmas season really means and give thanks for all we really do have. God is real- today, tomorrow and forever. He can help you through anything, you just have to ask.
That is the biggest gift of all this season.

Shelly Recer 12-7-2009